: ( bye bye bye

yes i realize NYSC or something like that sang that lovely song,

but irony i am not listening to them and i am leaving, i will be gone for 4 days, it is saddening...

anyways i will try to get to a computer while i am at my brother but i can't promise anything

and i can promise this i will be pissed tomorrow! i am waking up at 3:30 in the morning, anyways i am going to go even through i don't want to... GRRR anyways bye all i will miss you all

BIG news

so anyways i do have new bigs,

he answered to the other girl, he said i don't think so...

i know everyone is going to say ask him do it do it, another friend of my just found out and she is in my class with the kid i like, so she is sitting there and we are passing notes, and i told her i wanted to ask someone i told her and now every time i see her she tells me to do it...

the thing is i don't know, i am just so nervous i think that i rather ask him to go see a movie with my friends and he could come... i don't know a dance seems to personal when you barely know him and i think that at a dance you feel like you would have to dance with the person that asked you and i wouldn't want that... so yeah i am not sure

and i really dont know

hola

so i have been busy lately so io haven't posted or did anything which i am truly sorry for, there isn't much to say really.

at the horse show i went to a girl got hurt sort of... her horse reared so far up it like fell or something i am not sure, i think she is fine, and then i was bored out of my mind sort of, and i just want school to be like a lazy day but that isn't going to happen but whatever i am going to go now i am so dead right now it isn't even funny... so night all and hopefully i can get on soon and tell you all the hopefully wonderful news about the guy i like.... like i said hopefully, bye then

YESSSS!!!!!

you won't believe it, i had a doctors appointment

the boot of travel, aaron carl is off!!! YYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY

I AM SO EXCITED!!!! and i sort of came to terms with evilgal asking the guy i like and he hasn't said yes but still we will see how it goes...

and i am listening to Don't Stop Believein', there is some weird thing in band about this song, lol

anyways there is nothing more really going on with me, other wise i would let you know, so i might not be on for a while i have a busy weekend i am shopping on saturday maybe most likely for my bro's b-day or homecoming dress, and then i also have a horse show i get to go watch... but i am super excited about the boot finally coming off!

anyways i forgot to tell you all this the nurse i had actually called it the boot, no joke, she is like you can take the boot off, i was like trying not to laugh but either way it was fun have a good fun day alls

*granding teeth*

I WANT TO SCREAM!!
i finally get the balls, not really, to ask Chris and you know what

my sister was at band and i was at the horse team she tells me the other girl that likes him well call her Evilgal, called him and my friend that was telling me to ask him before her was telling her to ask him! i am not so much mad about the fact that she asked him but the fact my friend was kind of betraying me, anyways my sister said that Evilgal didn't get a real answer

either way i am so upset right now
i was going to do it too.

now it doesn't matter, nothing does... i might as well go climb in a hole and stay there for the rest of my life... it doesn't matter anymore. i had my chance and i BLEW it like no other! actually i didn't because i didn't call him since he has been gone for three days but still

i feel sad, mad, and worse of all betrayed...

sorry i know i am a drama queen anyways now i have to go put a brave face on and make dinner yeppie!

days are endless

so the guy i like,
well i have known there were other girls that liked him
but none of them were going to do anything
so i was thinking this girl that is sort of a friend
that she liked him for awhile she didn't
now she does, and she actually talks with him
and i mean i might actually have a chance with his kid if i talked to him
but that doesn't matter anymore
getting down to the point she is asking him to homecoming

i don't know what to say now,
what is there to say when you are totally numb
or just trying to make yourself feel numb,
NUMB it is a word that doesn't mean much
as a feeling it is like you just given up caring even
though your mind or heart, i am not sure yet
is telling you to care, to cry, to feel again

what to do

so yeah i just posted i know but w/e

My Mind, My Heart

Which to chose
Which to listen to
My mind says this
My heart says that
I know my mind is thinking
I know my heart is caring
One is saying let go
The other is saying god no
Which to chose
Which to listen to?

By: your's truly Becca!

I did it!

so i had an essay due on monday right, and i was being myself and waiting for the last minute
aka monday is tomorrow

on saturday night i was telling my sister what homework i had, i dk it i woke up because some weird howling from the TV or rather the fact i was thinking about that essay.
either way i thought that saturday was sunday and i didn't have my essay done.
i was freaking out right, this is 4 o clock in the morning,
so i get up TOTALLY forgetting to put the boot on and start walking i took two steps cussed and sat on my bed and put it on.
i get downstairs, and over to the computer and i think to myself
it isn't monday, i can do it later today...
so i stayed up for about two hours watching pointless TV fell asleep and woke up at 9 it really stucked but i got my essay done that is all that matters

my oldest untold story

so this isn't a story that i wrote it is something that has actually happened to me and i think it might just explain why i am so upset with my friends and them like totally not noticing i am there

okay so in 4 to 5 grade... i was well not the coolest person, i have always been strange. anyways i had a friend and her name is Rachel, and well i thought she was the coolest person of all time... but she had other friends and they hated me, so this is when i had recess right, so everytime we had recess they would run, literally, away from me... i always got really upset about it and just sat waiting until we could go inside and i didn't have to worry about it anymore... EVERYONE i mean EVERYONE would tell me that Rachel hated me, but i didn't believe them. i didn't want to i guess because like i said i thought she was totally cool. i should have listened to them

for those two years that went on and it totally made me upset like almost everyday... so for awhile i stopped being there friends and went back to my friends that i had forever, that would be anna, ps i love her!, and then about in 8th grade a friend that left in 4th grade came back... so i became best friends with her again and so did Rachel... so again i was foolish and became friends with her

then at the ending of 8th grade, i well was advoided by them all... even my friend from 4th grade, that i found out later that she was just mad at me, we fixed and we are good, and then again i was left friendless and i didn't want to trust anyone... i went back to anna after leaving the only true friends i had...

right now i feel as if it is going to happen again... but this time i know I KNOW that they actually cared about me, so i know that if i lose friends like that again i don't think that i could recover and be able to trust anyone but anna... and family. it is hard enough for me to trust people now i am ALWAYS thinking do they actually like me? or are they doing the same thing that Rachel did to me

anyways that is mine now told story... so yeah i am upset and just want to listen to my music and sit in a corner and stare into space thinking about things... but i can't do that cause i don't have anywhere to listen to music or a corner at the moment so i blogged

what does it take?

seriously what does it take?!

i swear to god if i wore a sign saying i am pissed at you guys! they wouldn't get it....

if you don't understand let me fill you in, two of my friends are replacing me with a short, more annoying version of me. i am totally pissed and upset about it, and that isn't even the worse part my ankle has been pounding all day well all night i rather try to chew glass.

i am just so upset. i am sorry, i just really had to talk about it. well i have talked about it to like everyone but the two people that are doing it to me. don't ask me why i don't just talk to them about it. i will tell you why i think i don't want to talk to them about it. because i am afraid that they will think i am acting like a baby or something. anywho thanks for listening, well reading

i am just really really upset and i have been taking it out on like everyone so i am sorry if i like seem like a real witch right now...

the age old question

okay so i had an amazing conversion with the friend from science class, btw who in the heck gives an assigment all about species diversity, no joke i had to write a little paper thing about it, it was stupid, but w/e that isn't the point

we were talking about the age old question for the guys,

Why do girls go to the bathroom together?

well we came up with just because we want someone there with us just because... actually the funny part about that was there was a guy walking with us when we started this conversion up, so he is like right away, I AM OUT OF HERE!! it was funny

so later i asked my amazing friend from band, and she says this in the cutest way, she is like "we go to the bathroom so a guy can't come up to us and rape us..." yeah but it was said really cutely, and funny, so i am like "yeah i guess that is a good reason." but still this is for like all guys that might read this post and might be interested, i am giving you false hope, you will never EVER know sorry!

you boys have secrets we girls have ours

it was a double hitter

or how ever that quote goes...

anywho this is a real post explaining something other then explaining nothing...

so let my first off by saying i was at a horse-show and a family reunion today... both went fine it was the getting there that was the problem

okay so i can drive right? well with a parent but still, i was driving with my mom and we had to stop for gas leaving the horse-show going to the family reunion
so we stop. and i get the gas all is good in the hood,
so i pulled up to close to the pump, so i was like right on top of it, and i went over the little step up thing, with the car
then there was this oval metal thing that is there for no REASON WHAT SO EVER!!
i hit it with the side of my mom's car, at first i thought it was the trash can or something
but i wasn't sure what is was because i had my sister in the back SCREAMING her head off
now how could concernate when that is going on?
so i stop then go because some guy waved me by, i am still hitting it by the way
so my mom says pull over here, so i pulled over
my mom thinks we have flat tires and i just don't know what to think... my sister and mom get out
they are like HOLY CRAP..blah blah blah so i get out
the side of my mom's CAR is dented on the very bottom, from the front door to the almost ending of the back door.... I WAS SO i don't even know... i was shocked. i was freaking out
i kept telling my mom i would pay for it and all that, but she said it is just a car cars can be fixed
i still feel HORRIBLE BTW!!!

so if things couldn't get WORSE right? by this time i was coming home actually heading home/ going back the the horse-show we weren't sure... so yeah
i am on the express way and the car is actually REALLY REALLY strange i look down and it is in second gear, this is a dodge, a big car not the sticks okay so it isn't good
my dad is following behind us so when i pulled over so did he...
we tried driving the car again, and it wasn't working right, and it is smoking out the back so i pull over again
btw my sister screamed a little there too...
so we have to get it towed and see what is wrong with it... SO i destroyed my MOM'S car TWICE in ONE day! i am pretty upset.

beauty comes and beauty goes

i took this in Flordia with the fam. anyways it is the last bit of the wonderfulness of summer i guess everyone is saying it is time to move ON!! lol it will come again

aka it helps to understand if you read my little tags at the bottom

so anywho here ends the first week of reckless searching, chatting, catching up, and to rap it all getting back to the food you know and love! that is right for me this was the ending of my first week of school. to tell the truth the headaches get sweeter every YEAR!! lol

first off let me say i love my classes, they are good. second something great came out of this week, those who don't know i have a crush on a boy, i know SHOCKING!!, lol anywho being serious now, he is in my first block and my 4th which happens to be band!! but anyways i finally talked to him by myself with out the help of friends, it felt good... i am still scared through.. silly i know but whatever.

now what else is there to say? my mornings are brighter with each passing morning, my eyes are getting heavier, my head is pounding, i just want so rest!

first day first day!

OMG first off let me start by, WOW, being in my grade has in advantages i get to push around the youngin's lol but that is from my first block teacher

let me say that i had not that bad of a day... i am writing on here aren't i? lol

first block: i have us history, history we have been taught since the beginning of that history, understand? anyways the first day at my school is all about what we will be learning in that class, groan! anyways i had the teacher before, maybe it was my first year and the almost ending of the year and we both just wanted out so we were both grumpy, but this year he ROCKS! anyways there is another thing to that, i got maybe like totally of three friends in that class

Second block: i was so happy one of my best friends was in there, so i was unbelievably happy!! and the teacher is pretty rad, again we learned what we were doing in that class, aka it is math, and then we played the name game, with a twist, lol

third block: i have one friend i am close too in that class but she has someone else she is with so i talked to the new girl we kind of hit it off, i mean at least we can talk right? again in this block we talked about what we were going to do, aka science, i had lunch between this class, strange i know but at least i have a real friend in lunch! YAY! and then we actually got homework for that class, not something you sign but actual WORK eeekkk!! hehe

fourth block: BAND CLASS lol that should let you all know, it was fine again listened to the same speech i heard so many times before, and we did some stupid thing with where we sit at football games, he is taking all the fun out of all the football games, are we suppose to watch the game? i don't think so we are suppose to be talking to our friends! DUH! lol anywho that was my day, nothing to special but more updates on how my life is going later!

BTW Wick Lovely is an AMAZING book that i think you should check out sometime seriously it is a really really good book!!! by Melissa Marr

no, no, NO!

okay so my school year starts tomorrow, i probably won't be home most of the day thanks to a family thing, grrr

all i wanted to say was that i don't want to go to school, but i have to, and i know that i say i don't want to but to tell the truth school gives me something to do, as soon as we have a long break i will enjoy the first day then i won't be able to wait for school again, the bad thing about school is not so much time on the computer, i mean i will try my bestest to get on and post every other day to tell you how it is going but tomorrow after school i will be on to tell you how the day went

well this goes out to anyone, thanks for making my summer very interesting, and less boring! i really mean that! : D

i copy i know

so yeah i am copying ink with this one i am just recapping my summer golden days!

while to start out with i am too sad about summer ending, but i am also glad about a new year starting, it means a new chance to make more friends, take another step in the long way i have left in my life and hope for the best

well lets see this summer on from the previous ones i would have to say this is one of my favoritest i made new friends that i love, you know who you are, there is a lot btw, i hung with my friends so much and got a lot closer to some of them, lets see i got to ride for awhile i broke my first bone YAY LOL and let's see i have been writing a lot, i am proud of that, i have been reading a lot, watching and seeing strange movies with the friends of course, went to open soccer exactly ONCE lol went to band camp had a good time

i have been really active and having as much fun as i could all in all i think this was a very well spent summer : D